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Friday, June 29, 2012

A sociological research has described italian men..


In these days I have seen a program on Tv that talked about the way italian men relate and behave with women. The speaker said that from a sociological research italian men can be classify in three categories:

1) Bamboccioni
2) Rubacuori
3) Hermit

For the first and the second category I have used the italian words because they are italian hackneyed phrases so they can't be translated literally, so now I will explain their meanings.

1) Bamboccioni is a category of men who never grew up, in the sense that they feel so good and comforted if they continue to live at home with family, cuddled and pampered by mothers, that treat them like a little boy, even if they are 40 years old. Men belonging to this category need and search for a woman that can substitute their mother figure and they are not brilliant and strong, infact they need to be pushed around by their wives, just like their mother did with them. They think to be ok in this way.

2) A Rubacuore is a seducer, a womanizer that adulates and wins women's heart. Often they have more than a women in their life and they don't want long relationships, but they are interested in one night stand. They consider women like a trophy to show to their friends.

3) A hermit is a solitary, shy and introvert man who prefers staying alone because a woman could bother and trouble their quiet and serenity. If they have a woman, she must be very very very quiet.

Ok, now my impressions.

I think that you can't generalize men in this way. 
I really believe that there are a lot of godly and wonderful men outside.
I'm not a feminist, the last thing I will do is attack and belittle men. 
It would be too superficial and expectable.

I think there are a lot of men that would like to find the ideal woman to stay with for all their life. Men have a big heart too and even if, sometimes they act to have a hard heart with friends and they boast about being single and indipendent, they instead dream to have a sweet wife and a wonderful family that wait for them when they come back home from work.

But I surely can say that men like these categories really exsist.
Sadly.

The fact that this speaker told things like these about men is really a strong sign that there isn't any christian and biblical culture here.
There is confusion and chaos about our role and tasks as men and women.

What kind of world are we living in?
I feel so overwhelmed about this!

The second and the third categories are to the extreme, they are totally in opposition! Rubacuori is too confident and without a heart while the Hermit is too shy and insicure and he doesn't live deeply, but he wastes his life..alone.

The category that hit me a lot is the Bamboccioni's one.
I have made a little research about this on Internet. I have been really surprised by the huge number of women that are complaining everyday because their men act like bamboccioni.
Really a huge number.

So I had a sea of confusion in my head!
I asked why do women complain for their pliable and compliant men? 
Feminists fought hard to be the strongest sex, they wanted to be stronger than men. And I think that they sadly won their battle. 
So why? You won and now you are complaining for your men?

A woman said about this: "This thing of Bamboccioni men is worring for me! I don't feel safe and protected anymore in men's world..I think I'll go to women's world, because they have become the strongest now.."

Scaring.

So...this is the demonstration that Feminists were wrong...maybe now they are understanding that they need a strong man in their life. 
The charme of comanding is not so beautiful as you thought...am I wrong?

I don't think so...

Who is to blame for this? 
Who is responsible for this?

Women.
We women.

Who has raised and formed these men?
Women.
These women gave a really bad education to their sons. They didn't form them to be a future leader, the father of a family. In Italy we say that they grow up like a "Cocco di mamma" that is mollycoddle (I hope this is the correct word to translate!..please let me know if I have used a strange or bad word!).

These women, without realizing (or willfully...), have passed their life to command and "protect" their sons, always thinking to be right. They love so much their sons, so they must be protected and controlled by them, always, so if they do what mom says, they will be safe and sound. Even if they are 40 years old and they have a family and children.
They are so jealous too of their sons...they can be terrible mothers in law...and believe me..I know. They consider their daughter in law an enemy, even if these young bride are good and sweet women.
And these man can be between the devil and the deep blue see.

It's normal that a mother loves her son, it's normal to protect a son, but this is not the way of raising him.
This is a selfish way.
This is an agressive way.
Agressiveness is a synonym of weakness.
You are weak so you are agressive to protect yourself, because you know that you don't have any strong and valuable weapons..in reality.

I'm not a mother yet, so if you aks me now how to raise a son, I don't know yet with precision, but I know what I won't do. I won't be agressive, selfish, ignorant. I won't be alone. I will be inspired by God, helped by my husband, family and the elder women (the wise ones.... ;-)  ).

In these days I'm reading this wonderful and powerful book, I have called it "Our second bible". I encourage you to read it, it's a blessing and a breathe of fresh airs:

heart of simplicity ebook
Click here to view more details

I was really touched reading these powerful sentences that are perfect here in this topic :

"As keepers of our homes, we have a unique opportunity to make a generational impact, both within and outside the walls of our homes.
As wives and mothers, our impact is greater than even we will ever
know."

So a mother and a wife too have a really big and important responsibility.
Mothers raises the men of the future. Every single mother is important for this reason. I think you love your son and you would like that he can live in a beautiful and better world. So you can do something, you can do your part.

It's up to you.

Gege



12 comments:

  1. This is such an amazing post, totally agree with you!!

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    1. Thank you sooooo much friend!

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  2. Good morning Gege,

    The roles of husbands and wives have become confused in these days and I am happy to be able to have the many verses in the Bible to clarify how each are to love one another and what a marriage should look like that is both glorifying to God and a blessing to the couple.

    Thank you for sharing on Think on These Things.

    Kindly, Lorraine

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    Replies
    1. Hello Lorraine! Thank you so much!
      Bible is really a blessing, a gift! It helps us so much in our life!

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  3. Hello Gege! Yes, sadly things are changing for the worse. The roles of men and women are blurred and men and women both are not brought up in the fear of the Lord. Sadly, we know that the Bible teaches that they will be come lovers of themselves. We see this happening in our time. Fearful of it all....may we be strong in these times, and those of you with young children and who may have children in the future, ask the Lord to raise them up to be godly, give them to the Lord upon birth.

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    1. Hello Jo! you are so right, may God touch people's life so they can live a better and godly life! Amen!

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  4. I think men want to be men...strong, protective ,hard working....but they won't if women don't expect them to be.

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  5. Very interesting and I think you have a lot of wisdom and are right on with what you're saying! I too find the three categories of men listed too limiting and agree with you that there ARE many good, strong and Godly men out there who must want to marry and settle down with a good woman but in the general confusion of the world, these men are not so easy to find sometimes and also, the lifestyle they seek is not promoted. We just don't hear much about good men. I have a little son and I hope (and pray) that I find the balance while raising him and that when he is grown he is a strong leader who cares for others and has a kind, gentle (but confident and brave) spirit. I hope I will raise him to care for his wife and children.

    I read a good quote the other day:
    Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him. I like that.:)

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    1. Thank you so much!
      "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him. I like that.:)"
      I love this quote!!!! Love it love it!

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    2. If men had been doing their job feminism wouldn't have gotten so out of hand. Let's not forget that where a mother is spoiling her son there is a father who is not leading his family. It really bugs me when I read about how women are to blame for men's weakness. No! Men are to blame for having left women without a loving guide, which is exactly how sin came into the world! Adam just stood there while Eve was tempted, he didn't protect her or help her. Sure, there is our own personal responsibility, and all that jazz, but families are to be led by the men. Reading many homemaker blogs I get the impression that there is a trend where wives are desperately trying to guide their ownselves and indoctrinating themselves with ideas they've convinced themselves are biblical. I read one blog where the blogger said that she doesn't want her husband or boys doing any housework. Is that right? What if her sons never marry? They will have no clue how to take care of themselves! Is that being a good homemaker? Is that what God wants from us, from our marriages? Is that what the Proverbs 31 woman do, be quiet and submissive as many bloggers repeat over and over? No! She sets up a buisness! She delegates work, she does many things that a 'submissive wife' (as described in these blogs) wouldn't dare do. I think us Christian women have to take a look at how truly biblically based are the ideas we are filling our heads with. Claiming that women have ruined men is just a very well hidden and passive aggressive version of feminism, I think.
      By the way I live in Italy too, my husband is from down South, and my mother in law is the typical Italian mother who would wand her sons to be social idiots forever. And that drives me nuts. But I cannot ignore the fact that her husband did nothing to lead her and love her. Who is going to answer to God for this family? God's word says the husband is the head, not the wife. The family and as a consequence society go where the men lead.

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  6. a sociological research? Do you mean research paper? Do you mean a sociology researcher? But this is just a personal blog post.

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